ATHENS, Greece – Three islanders from Lesbos told a court Tuesday that gay women insult their home’s identity by calling themselves lesbians.

These les… lesbosians?… really need to be more grateful. To the average member of the outside world, their island is known for only three things: lesbians, lesbians, and being the target of overused comedy tropes based around the number three. Of course, more sophisticated people will also know the island as the home of one of the great poets of our ancient Greek cultural heritage, especially important because she was female: Sappho, who wrote about sex between women.

Yeah. That’s about all they’re known for. They should accept the boost to their tourism industry and move on.