How to Meet Attractive, Intelligent Atheist Women

This was a discussion at Atheist Revolution awhile ago. Vjack treated it as a rather difficult topic: “You know, if someone were to create a blog focusing on helping heterosexual male atheists improve their chances of finding desirable atheist women, I bet it would be very successful. Of course, the author would have to know something about the subject matter. Unfortunately, that rules me out!” The skewed gender ratio in atheist organizations was emphasized.

But it’s not really that hard. Here’s the secret to doing it: realizing that the U.S. isn’t that religious of a country anymore, and there are lots and lots of people out there who are atheists in practice even if they don’t call themselves atheists and would never join an atheist org. I’ve never cared much about the religious beliefs of my dates, and without making any effort to find an “atheist girlfriend,” I’d say about half the girls I’ve dated described themselves as in some way non-religious when I met them. My current girlfriend started out “agnostic,” and over the past year she’s come around to being comfortable with the word “atheist.”

If I were single and really, really cared about finding an atheist partner, I’d be trying to meet people all the normal ways and then just try to get the religion thing out there as quickly as possible. This might actually be a good idea anyway: OK Cupid analyzed data of people contacting eachother and seeing what made people more or less likely to write back, and one of the biggests boosts to yoru chances is saying you’re an atheist. It’s not hard to guess why: in superficially religion-dominated culture, being an atheist makes you unique, and some people will be thrilled to hear it, perhaps not because they’re atheists seeking atheists but just because they’re vaguely tired of religion.

I’d listen closely to the self-described agnostics and “I’m not really religious”es–some of them will turn out to be generic theists or dabbling in neopaganism, but a lot will be people who are basically atheists who need to be made more comfortable with the term. As I’ve said before outside the dating context, it’s unreasonable to expect every atheist to be an activist, but if you’re just looking for someone who’s sympathetic to your views on religion, it shouldn’t be that hard.

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  1. This post has helped me realize the only sane and non-manipulative woman I ever dated was an atheist or altruist. Thanks for increasing my desire to propagate atheist babies.

  2. Chris Hallquist

    Dunno how I did that, but thanks.

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